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I want to get married. There I said it. Two years ago that was the last thing anyone would have heard me say, but it's there, deep inside of me, that aching desire to be married, to spend my life with someone, to help my husband with whatever he is doing, to be a help mate. A friend and I were discussing last night that while many college aged girls want deep down to get married, we never say that out loud. We are too afraid of being ridiculed. We think it will be seen as weak or as a waste of our life or as a disappointment or as weird. Our culture has affected us so much that we no longer even are willing to tell people what we really want.
So I'm changing that...today...
I want to get married. I want to be a mom. I want to take care of my husband and children. I want to pour into their lives with all the skills and talents and gifts that I have been acquiring my whole life.
What do you want?
I hope you all have a fantastic New Year and that this new decade holds many blessings, mixed with the right amount of sadness, and lots of joy.
This time of year is always a time of reflection for me. Perhaps that is because I am on break from school, and I actually have time to sit and reflect. Perhaps it is that the weather gets chilly and gray, and I don't want to leave my house, but rather want to curl up under a ton of blankets with a steaming mug of tea...or coffee. Perhaps it is just the season - the ending of one year, the beginning of the next.
Well, whatever the reason, I always like to reflect on the past at this time of year...just let my mind wander over the past year and pause wherever it feels like it and then continue its pleasant little ramble through the dusty shelves of my memory.
What I'm pondering on today is something that is very real in my present life. Endings. And Beginnings. Endings are great and yet sad at the same time. There is a joy that comes from finishing something, and there is a sadness that it is over. Beginnings are great and scary. There is the rush of excitement that something new is happening, and there is the scariness of the unknown staring you straight back in the face.
I am almost finished with college. One more semester and I will be done. That is difficult for me to process, especially as I do not know what the next step is. This is a time of ending one chapter and beginning another. The scary and exciting part is turning the page to see what the next chapter holds.
I have some friends who recently got married...in fact it hasn't even been a week yet...they turned the page. They ended the chapter of their lives in which they were single, and they are beginning a chapter in which they are married to each other. Their stories have suddenly intersected and melded. What an exciting chapter that is going to be!!
I have another friend who is experiencing a change in chapter due to the sudden death of a family member. The page turned before he was ready for it, and he doesn't particularly like what he is reading on this page. It will be interesting to see what the rest of the chapter holds.
Another friend is closing a chapter of living alone as she is going to be having a new roommate move in soon, and then a new chapter will be beginning as they move in with another roommate. She is ready to be in a chapter where she has roommates and isn't alone.
The chapters and seasons of our lives are ever changing. It is learning to take the change in stride and take the endings and beginnings together that is the key. Changes happen every moment of every day. Some are changes we pick. Some aren't. But above it all we get to pick how we respond to those changes. What are the endings and beginnings in your life? How will you respond to them?
I have a confession to make. I haven't blogged on here yet because the first post is just so intmidating. I always want to make it something incredibly profound and life-altering. Yet that is just my perfectionistic side speaking. I always want perfection, and yet almost never achieve it...does that stop me from attempting it...No. Anyway...I'm just going to cowboy up and blog. So here goes...
I am taking a non-verbal communications class...yes, we do actually speak in class...but the class is all about studying people's non-verbal behaviors because an astonishing 3/4 of what we say does not come out of our mouths. Yep around 3/4 of all human communication is non-verbal. Shocked? I was.
Now I am a studier of people's behaviors. I find it fascinating to watch people and their non-verbal behavior. You can tell so much about a person by how they act. You can tell if someone is lying. You can tell when two people change topic in their conversation. You can even tell when two people aren't getting along. It's probably one of my favorite classes I have ever taken...hands down.
Yesterday in class, we talked about the 6 different types of love.
Eros love - love based purely on the physical.
Manic love - obsessive/jealous love.
Ludus love - love is always a game and fun
Pragma love - practical love, based on a set of qualifications
Storge love - love that is slow moving and grows out of friendship
Agape love - purely self-less love, love where you expect nothing in return
The two top types of love for college students are Eros and Ludus. I was a little saddened when I heard that because I believe that if we truly understood love and what true love is, that the only love we would have is agape. Society today tells us that falling in love should be all about us. What can the other person do for us? We are more focused on getting rather than giving.
I don't always have agape love...I'm still a selfish human being. But I am working on it. I sincerely hope that I will one day learn to love as I truly should love, that I will be only concerned with what I can give and not what I get in return.
